Conditio Sine Qua Non

(Achoom!)

Gesundheit. Well, looking at the state of my blog, I can understand the urge to sneeze.

For the past few months I’ve been quite the busy man; trying to score my exams (more on that later), trying to balance my work/fun/love life (which I cannot conciliate – or balance), and for the past few weeks, trying desperately to get a shot at my report proposal.

All of which is slowly, and surely, is falling down on me.

The exams turned out to be the usual curse and bane of my not-so-studious meh-tods of study: for all the hard work, proper sleep and improper exam diet I went through, I cannot get that elusive mark on the paper. It is so disappointing that I cannot even fathom how I can get such marks.

ehem.

A car has four wheels, and even as it is an improperly balanced car is a bitch to drive (as an aspiring getaway driver, I know how hard it is to keep an unbalanced car straight). My life has three wheels – work, fun, and love. I need a fourth wheel, the fourth variable to balance it out. Why? Ever tried to balance three things on a single fulcrum?

Let’s just face it. I am so accustomed to keeping my life compartmentalized that meshing them together drive me, well, bonkers. I’m used to not letting people from different aspects of my life knowing the other, but due to the insistence of a certain person… Let’s just say that it is easier to get an Al-Qaeda operative to confess and give up their secrets, compared to me openly telling everyone everything.

And the last, but not least is this weird thing called a research report. Apparently my internship requires that I do either a case study, or a conclusive research, based on my area of study and also my internship. However, my internship is so far removed from the area of study that I’m having difficulties on (again!) conciliating the two subjects altogether.

Which is why I cannot achieve the conditio sine qua non.

Maybe I should just wing it, and hope for the best.